


The Kind of Care You Wish You Didn't Need

by ravenselle



Category: JUDGE EYES: 死神の遺言 | Judgment
Genre: (For one of them), Angst, Casual Sex, Deepthroating, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Pining, Pity Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, emotionless sex, spoiler free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-04-03 17:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenselle/pseuds/ravenselle
Summary: The crush happened naturally, easily. Being around Kaito was as easy as breathing. He helped Higashi learn the ropes without babying him, without treating him like an incapable kid. But his admiration matured into something else.
Relationships: Higashi Toru/Kaito Masaharu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	The Kind of Care You Wish You Didn't Need

The crush happened naturally, easily. Being around Kaito was as easy as breathing. He helped Higashi learn the ropes without babying him, without treating him like an incapable kid. His admiration matured into something else. Pure, at first. Higashi couldn't stop fantasizing about taking Kaito on a date, making him blush, saying all the right things to make him happy. But the fantasies didn't stay as innocent.

He hated himself. He shouldn't feel this way about his aniki, someone who was looking after him. And besides, Kaito wasn't interested in him like that. Everything his mind told him didn't stop him from fucking his fist in the shower for the tenth time that week, weakly calling out Kaito's name as he spilled down the drain.

He wanted to touch him, kiss him, feel just how strong his muscles were, he wanted--

He couldn't. Had to stop. Keep his feelings inside.

* * *

It was a party, for some Matsagune family win and everyone was there. Kaito was shmoozing, sweat glistening off his forehead as Higashi struggled to look anywhere but at him. There was a different busty woman hanging off his arm every time Higashi looked.

The booze loosened him up. Made him drink more. Others laughed at him, joked how he was finally loosening up, starting to look like a real Yakuza. He couldn't keep his eyes from tracing Kaito's sculpted ass in those slacks. He took another few shots and passed out.

He woke up clinging a warm body. He was dizzy, the air was slithering around him and he was definitely still drunk.

"Finally awake? Surprised ya drank that much, man," Kaito said. Higashi was being carried somewhere, slung over Kaito's back easily as if he weighed nothing. The thought made his heart skip a beat.

"Mm. Thought I should… keep up appearances," Higashi slurred out, his glasses smushed against his face. He pressed his body closer to Kaito's, shuddering as he inhaled his scent. Some American brand he couldn't put his finger on. His cigarettes. His sweat, strongest of all. 

Kaito chuckled, his deep voice reverberating in his chest, in turn vibrating against Higashi, making goosebumps rise across his body.

Higashi fell back asleep and only woke when they were in front of Kaito's place. His heart thudded against his ribcage. The outside was dingy, looked like a shitty place to live but in his drunk eyes, it may as well have been a mansion.

Kaito helped him inside, set him on the sofa and went to the kitchen to get him some water. 

"You can sleep on the sofa tonight," he said, placing aspirin next to the water. "I'm gonna crash, see ya in the morning."

"Wait, Kaito-san--" Higashi’s voice was pathetic as he clutched Kaito's sleeve. Kaito looked at him, confused. He wanted to stand on his tiptoes and kiss every part of his body, his hairline, his tits, his--

"Yeah?"

"I… I'm in love with you, Kaito-san," Higashi stuttered out, his body swaying. He was so dizzy, it looked like there were two Kaito's in garish Hawaiian print in front of him.

"Higashi… get some rest." Kaito's voice was unbearably soft, his eyes kind.

"No, you gotta," Higashi turned his head and coughed. "Lemme touch you, I'm begging you, please. I need you to fuck me. Or. Or at least just lemme see your cock, please."

"You're drunk," Kaito said, flustered. "I'm going to sleep."

* * *

He woke sometime later, dazed and confused and with a massive headache. He blearily looked around and recognized Kaito's place. Empty ramen cups were everywhere, a few magazines cluttered across the floor. 

When he realized what woke him up, Higashi froze. Kaito's snoring. He was asleep.

He crept to his bedroom, slowly opening the door. Kaito had managed to tangle himself in his blankets and most of his body was uncovered.

He was sweating. The heater had to be too high. No rivulets of sweat, just little beads glistening across his body. He-- he had to turn the heater down, right? That couldn't be healthy, being that sweaty during sleep. Higashi stepped into the room quietly, making no sound. His breathing quickened as he got closer and saw that Kaito was only wearing a tight pair of boxer briefs. Pale gray that left nothing to the imagination. If they had both been awake--in a locker room or something-- Higashi wouldn't have stared. Would have given him privacy. 

But only one of them was awake now.

He was just drunk enough to ignore the moral part of his brain. He stepped closer to Kaito's bed, his hand hovering over his plump pectoral muscle. His breath caught in his throat as he tentatively brought his hand closer. He was radiating heat, making Higashi even dizzier. Kaito didn't stir. Higashi's cock stirred in his own briefs, pressing painfully against the fabric. He was almost touching him.

Higashi jumped back, hissing air between his front teeth as he realized what he was doing. He couldn't touch him without permission. Could never. 

His eyes tracing up and down Kaito's body. He felt sick to his stomach as he ogled the man who was so dedicated to helping him succeed in the organization he wasn’t even cut out for. He darted to the heater in the corner and turned it down before hurrying into the bathroom. His reflection in the mirror was pathetic. His cheeks were bright red, his lips parted as he panted. And he was still hard. He ground his molars together as he turned the shower on, turning the hot water on all the way to scald himself back into reason. 

Kaito’s body wash. Higashi groaned as the near-empty bottle caught his eye. He couldn’t--he _shouldn’t._ He turned his back as he scrubbed his hair, desperately ignoring his erection. He wasn’t going to do this here of all places. He could control himself. 

He turned the hot water off and hissed as the ice-cold water poured over his body. There. He was the one in control here, not the way Kaito’s muscles looked covered in sweat.

He toweled himself dry and returned to the sofa, his head already starting to pound. Tomorrow would not be pleasant.

* * *

The guilt ate at him. But even more, desire gnawed at his insides. Days passed in a blur with his mind full of _ Kaito-san, I need... I need his approval, his touch, his-- _

One day Kaito approached him. "What's going on, man? You've been acting weird."

They were alone in the office, everyone else gone for the night. Higashi swallowed noisily, pushed his glasses up his nose.

"I'm fine."

Kaito snorted. "I know you're not. You almost walked into the wall earlier when you came back from getting coffee. Now just spill. I'll help ya if I can."

"No you won't," Higashi said, regretting as the words spilled from his mouth. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaito obviously thought it was a challenge to his skills, thought it was Higashi calling him weak or incapable.

"I'm distracted by you, alright?" Higashi said after a deadly long pause. The atmosphere turned awkward.

"Oh. This is. From the party. Look, Higashi, you're a good lookin' guy but I ain't interested in you like that. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's okay. Don't apologize." Higashi knew it was coming, but that didn’t make the rejection any easier. 

Kaito was looking at him with pity. That made everything worse.

He sighed. "Look. How about we, uh. Do something, once. To get your mind off me."

"Aniki…" The word was painfully dragged from Higashi's lungs. He couldn't stand the pity, the careful offer. He wanted Kaito to want _ him _, not this.

Kaito smiled warmly at him and that melted a layer of nervousness. "C'mon. What do you want to do to me?"

"Kaito-san, I cant--"

"Want me to suck your dick? Want to suck mine?"

"No, I just--"

"How big do you think I am?" Kaito asked, a glint of mischief in his eye. 

"What? I. You're. You're big. H-huge," Higashi said, his last word barely a whisper 

Kaito undid his belt before tossing it aside, raising his arms and stepping closer to Higashi. He leaned down and whispered into his ear.

"Why don't you do the honors, eh?"

Higashi glanced up at him, breathless. There was still pity there and that almost got him to leave, be angry at the offer. Almost. He could barely breathe as his fingers fumbled with the zip and button, before tugging Kaito’s slacks down.

He was wearing blue boxer briefs this time. He was half-mast by the looks of it and that made Higashi's mouth water. He dropped to his knees without thinking.

He swallowed the saliva threatening to drool from his mouth as he, with trembling fingers, tugged Kaito's waistband slowly down. His dick flopped from its confines and smacked Higashi's forehead.

He'd jerked off to that exact image. 

He stroked Kaito's cock reverently, staring hungrily at the veins mapping up and down his half-hard cock. At his attention, his cock filled up more. He was _ thick. _ The head was bulbous and hidden under his soft foreskin. He ran his thumb around the perimeter, his breath stolen away as precum leaked from his slit.

He swallowed again and kept stroking as he buried his face against the juncture of Kaito's thigh and his pelvis. He inhaled deeply, riding high on the manly scent Kaito emitted. Musky. Sweaty after a long day of walking and fighting. _ Fuck. _

He mouthed at Kaito's inner thigh and jerked him harder, twisting his fist and relishing in the little intake of breath Kaito let out.

Kaito's sweat was permeating his brain. It was all he could think of. He needed more. He started sucking at the spot where his huge balls met his shaft before carefully sucking one into his mouth. His balls were just as big as the rest of him. They had to be so full and the thought made Higashi groan.

He glanced up for the first time and met Kaito's gaze. He was flushed across his cheeks, his mouth slightly open as he panted. Higashi's cock throbbed at the sight.

He frantically pulled his own cock out as he moved his mouth to Kaito's cock. Even with all the stroking, his cock head was still hidden. Cute.

He kissed Kaito's tip softly before taking a deep breath and taking him into his mouth. He hadn't been with anyone before but he'd be lying if he said he'd never practiced.

He worked his tongue against the bottom of Kaito's dick as he shoved him down his throat. His gag reflex flared up and Kaito touched his head in concern. Higashi shook his head and went back to work.

Kaito's cock was thick and heavy against his tongue. Salty. He closed his eyes and jerked himself faster as Kaito's thick cock began working down his throat. His throat spasmed at the intrusion but the sound Kaito made it worth it. 

His cock was never-ending, continually going farther and farther. With his free hand, he pressed his palm against his neck and groaned as he realized that Kaito's cock was distending his throat. 

After ages and many pauses where Higashi had to force his throat to relax, his nose finally rested against the pungent mess of pubic hair framing his cock. Higashi took a shallow breath before bobbing his head, moaning at the sensation of his throat being filled. Dizzily he noted he could feel globs of precum ooze down his throat.

Higashi swallowed rhythmically around Kaito's cock and bobbed his head softly, knowing the sensation had to be overwhelming on the sensitive cock head.

Sooner than he would have liked, Kaito's fist curled in Higashi's hair and he started cumming. He spilled directly down his throat and Higashi _ needed _every last drop.

He pulled off with a gasp, turning his head and coughing. He was still dizzy with arousal, his cock painfully hard. 

“Thank you, Kaito-san,” Higashi said, starting to stand up.

“Hey, where do you think you’re goin’?” Kaito asked.

Higashi looked at him, confused.

Kaito looked pointedly at his cock. Kaito wet his lips, considering his options. Really, he should leave. Forget this ever happened. 

“Could I… fuck your thighs?” Higashi’s voice came out quietly, in case he had to deny he asked.

Kaito chuckled at the request. “C’mere.” He started undoing his tacky shirt as Higashi stood up and came closer.

Kaito held his arms open, leaving Higashi confused. He was about to ask what was going on, but Kaito pulled him into a tight hug. Higashi choked on his tongue at their closeness. Kaito was taller than him, but not by much. While he would have loved to be the perfect height to bury his face in Kaito’s tits, he settled for his chin resting near his collar bone. 

Kaito’s hand was moving behind him, but he wasn’t paying much attention. That is until Kaito spit in his hand and stroked Higashi’s cock. He moaned at the attention and realized this was his chance. He wrapped his arms around Kaito’s thick torso and buried his face into his shoulder, thrusting into the tight space created by Kaito’s perfect thighs. 

“Kaito-san… Kaito-san…” Higashi felt pathetic as he moaned out his name, but he couldn’t help it. His cock rubbed against Kaito’s balls on every stroke, and his thighs were tight and warm. Knowing Kaito used his spit to make Higashi’s way easier just made it more erotic. 

He didn’t last long. Higashi came with a low moan, his hips stuttering as he worked himself through his orgasm. 

“There. Better now?” Kaito held Higashi at arm’s length after pulling them apart. His smile was so kind, it made Higashi’s heart melt even as he felt guilt for letting his desires become known. 

“Thank you, aniki,” Higashi said, pulling away even farther. He was so embarrassed--he had to be the most pathetic recruit this family had ever had. 

“It’s no problem, man,” Kaito said, his back turned as he got dressed. “Y’know, if you’re ever in need… I wouldn’t mind helping you out again.”

Higashi’s heart stopped. He couldn’t do this again. He was already love struck. 

Against his better judgment, his mouth spoke anyway. “I’d like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ravenselle1)


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